


Kill It!

by DemonicPiano



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Alternate Universe - Royalty, Cardverse, Cardverse AU, Hetalia Countries Using Human Names, it's only mildly suggestive
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-04
Updated: 2020-04-04
Packaged: 2021-02-28 23:00:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 686
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23484967
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DemonicPiano/pseuds/DemonicPiano
Summary: Matthew hears something freaky coming from the King and Queen's bedroom.
Comments: 4
Kudos: 54





	Kill It!

It was time to settle down for the night in Spades. When everyone began to retire to their rooms, Matthew took advantage of the peace and quiet in his favorite corner of the library. It seemed the hours had stretched on the entire day to keep him from his long awaited novel, but finally, he was there. He plopped himself in a cozy armchair, wriggling in glee underneath a blanket around his legs, and at last, cracked open his book.

A thump resonated through the walls. It was an old palace, with Alfred's loud mouth and loud...well, everything. Even if he blinked, some noise should be expected. It would end eventually, and he would be the last one standing (or sitting, in this case) because nobody partied like a night owl and a good story.

"Oh, Gods!"

Yep, any moment now the King would be counting sheep...

"Alfred!"

Matthew sighed, having to reread that paragraph.

More thumping. The Queen of Spades, trapped inside the royal bedroom for the night, was screeching his head off about something. Sometimes Matthew really didn't know, and sometimes, he didn't want to know. Whatever. The two idiots (thought in a very loving tone) would tire their argument and fall asleep.

The shouts grew noisier, more panicked, "Alfred, _Alfred!"_

Oh. _Oh, hell no._

"Come on," Matthew dropped his novel to his lap, not believing what he was hearing, or more like, denying what he was hearing. Seriously? Right in front of his book? He flew off the seat, kicking back his blanket and stomped into the hall. No way in the entire Kingdom was he going to have to sit there and listen to his brother and his Queen's...nocturnal activities for who knows how long!

Closer to the royal bedroom's double doors, Matthew cringed as he heard, "It's so big!"

Alfred squawked, "I know, I know!" And the bed springs? Ugh.

Well, if he could embarrass them enough, then maybe they would stop and he would get some peace of mind. It was worth a shot. Matthew threw open the door, letting out an angry yell as it bounced off the wall, which elicited a collective scream from the couple standing on the bed. Yeah, they were standing, fully clothed in their pajamas, clutching onto one another and kicking at the pillows and blankets like lava had poured into the palace and was gobbling everything up.

"Mattie!" The King sounded close to tears. He peeled an arm away from clutching Arthur close and pointed to a spot on the hardwood floors. "Kill it!"

"Kill it! Kill it!" The Queen demanded, just as worked up as he stuffed his face into Alfred's nightshirt. "I felt it crawl on my foot!"

Alfred cried like he was reliving it.

Just then, Matthew saw a creepy spider the size of his palm scuttle across the pale wood floors. "Seriously?"

A sniffle, "Yeah, seriously."

"You fought people when there were arrows flying at you. We even trained in the sand pit since we were kids, and you're scared of a _spider?!"_

"Knights don't bite people!"

"They have swords!"

"What if the spider had a sword? What if it has _multiple_ swords, for all its legs! You don't know that!"

Matthew said, "You don't know that either! I can't believe I put down my book for this!"

Arthur peeled his face away from his super-protective shield, cheeks rosy and eyes almost spilling in angry tears as he hollered, "If you're not so scared, then why don't you kill it, tough guy?!"

Matthew looked to the spider again, pausing as it raised one of its hairy legs in the air. "Oh, hell, no!" He jumped on the bed. "Let me up! That thing is huge!"

"No, no!" Alfred sobbed. "It's gonna come after all of us! Yao! Yao!"

"Yao, we need you in here, please!"

"Come on, old man!"

A chorus of three panicked voices shot through the old halls of the Spadian palace. In his bedroom, trying to get some shut-eye, the Jack of Spades heard the entire commotion. He put his pillow over his ears.


End file.
